He’s having to chill after encountering the dramatic chipmunk.
Archive Page 42
This moment of zen brought to you by the hamster on the piano, eating popcorn on the piano
Published 4 January 2009 General , Media Leave a CommentTags: sometimes there just are no words
Milestone 1: The first draft
Published 2 January 2009 General , Media , The Orthodox Faith Leave a CommentTags: adventures in writing, pascha at the singing school
In the summer of 2004, a conversation with my dad (about which I might go into detail sometime later), along with an idea for something I’d love to see in real life, mingled in my head to become an idea for a children’s book. Over the next couple of years, I got some thoughts down on paper, did some world-building, even wrote four chapters or so, and then somebody pointed out that a fundamental flaw in my setup, of which I was already aware and was trying to write around, wasn’t going to be written around very well.
I rethought my setup without discarding the overarching plot or concept, and started writing again. My problem was, I could never quite get things down to a manageable scale to actually feel like I could write anything and get anywhere.
So, I decided on a different tack — pick a smaller event in the same universe at a different point in time, and tell a much smaller story with people who would be side characters in the main story, just to help find my voice and get a “proof of concept” down on paper. Suddenly The Singing School became Holy Week at the Singing School. Eventually even Holy Week proved to be too big for what I wanted to do, and last spring I started one more rewrite, Pascha at the Singing School. I figured it would be somewhere around 10,000 words — 40-50 pages tops.
This evening I finally finished the first draft of Pascha at the Singing School, weighing in at around 21,000 words and 91 double-spaced pages.
So, I’ve written a book. It’s a short book. Editing, revising, and publishing said book will likely be a very different matter from writing the first draft — but the first stab at putting all the words, plot points, and characters together to telling the story is, er, in the books.
We’ll see what happens next.
Antiochian Archdiocese: An Urgent Appeal for Immediate Cessation of Hostilities in Gaza
Published 2 January 2009 General , Media , The Orthodox Faith Leave a CommentTags: israel/gaza conflict, middle eastern hostilities, palestinian christians
I pass this along because I believe it is important. Please read it and make up your own mind.
By the way, happy new year! I’ll have more to say about that later — houseguests are keeping me fairly busy at the moment.
2008: the less said the better
Published 31 December 2008 Academia , College , General , music Leave a CommentTags: 2008, 2008 sucks, happy new year, makers mark manhattan, orthodox travel, pascha at the singing school, the 2008 that wasn't, travel
As may sometimes have been clear, 2008 wasn’t exactly a hoot and a holler and a gaggle of memories I’d love to relive. Exhaustive detail on all the reasons why wouldn’t be at all appropriate, let alone interesting, in many cases; therefore, instead of a lengthy retrospective, I decided to see if I could go month-by-month and write descriptive three-word phrases. Here’s what I came up with:
January — Uncomfortable but hopeful.
February — Hope seeping away.
March — Devastated and trapped.
April — Escaped, thank God.
May — Decompressing; emotionally raw.
June — Left at roadside.
July — Picked up briefly.
August — Rock bottom. Miserable.
September — Some good ideas.
October — Leveling out slowly.
November — Waiting, hoping, writing.
December — Door opened, finally.
For 2009, now that I actually have an official academic field (and might still have yet another), I hope to be able to spend some more time here discussing it/them. Obviously, a lot of professional wind got let out of sails after March and April, and the blog as a result became much more of a personal exercise than I originally intended. I don’t expect that will go away, exactly, but I hope to have more to contribute in terms of academic discussion. I don’t plan on discussing original research in detail, exactly, but it would be very much in keeping with my original intent to be able to at least jot down some notes here.
It’s possible I may have additional opportunities to post some travel journal kinds of things in the coming year. More on that as it happens.
I really hope to have more to say about Pascha at the Singing School, and very soon. I’m so close to having a draft completed I can taste the cheese.
There are other writing and musical projects that may or may not get anywhere as I have time to devote to them. As some things get completed, more capacity will be opened up. We’ll see.
At any rate, I will be toasting the New Year with at least one Maker’s Mark Manhattan tonight.
The ends justify the beans
Published 31 December 2008 General Leave a CommentTags: cooking, don't put soap in your coffee, euphemisms for corporations who might sue you, home coffee roasting, home cooking
As I mentioned earlier, my Christmas present from Megan consisted of the means with which to roast coffee at home. Pictured here is the product of the first batch, roasted Sunday night. More pictures can be found here. (For that matter, more pictures from Christmas and from goose-cooking can be found here.) We also roasted a batch last night. Thus far, we’ve used the stovetop popcorn popper method; we also want to try the stovetop cast-iron method.
What I can say is that it has not been appreciably difficult or time-consuming and the results have been quite drinkable. The flavor is different enough from your typical bag of *$$ (let me know if you don’t understand what I mean) that it’s definitely an adjustment, but so far it’s been an adjustment along the lines of “See, here’s how something you already like can do what it does better.” Perhaps it’s like being used to macaroni and cheese being made with Velveeta and then somebody comes along and makes a white sauce from scratch with Gruyère — and perhaps that’s an analogy that makes sense to me and me alone (like so much)… Anyway, the point is, flavor adjustment or no, I’m not sure there’s any going back.
One other observation: I’m pretty sure the caffeine content is greater this way.
How sure? Pretty sure. I think my wife has gotten to bed sometime around 4am every night since Sunday.
And now I have a friend with whom we’ve started to have hushed conversations about home brewing. This all sort of started four years ago when I decided I wanted to bake our own bread — does it ever end?
Wow, is it the last day of 2008 already? Couldn’t come soon enough. Retrospective to follow shortly.
“Bear Stearns is not in trouble” — Jim Cramer, 11 March 2008
Published 29 December 2008 Media Leave a CommentTags: 2008 sucks, the 2008 that wasn't
Χριστὸς γεννᾶται, δοξάσατε!
Published 29 December 2008 General , music , The Orthodox Faith 2 CommentsTags: adventure of the blue carbuncle, brining a goose, buttermaking, byzantine christmas, chipped goose on toast, Christ is born! Glorify Him!, Christmas, christmas carols, christmas dinner, christmas hymnody, divine liturgy for christmas eve, divine liturgy of saint basil, divine liturgy of saint james, divine liturgy of st. basil, divine liturgy of st. james, fifteenth antiphon, goose, goose sandwich, goose soup, liturgical adventures, liturgy, liturgy and life, Nativity, nativity feast, nativity hymnody, orthodox christmas, our liturgy is older than your liturgy, roasting a goose, royal hours, royal hours of the nativity, sherlock holmes
Christ is born! Glorify Him!
Christmas Eve found me singing the services of the Royal Hours of the Nativity, as well as the Vesperal Liturgy of St. Basil, in the morning. We only started doing the Liturgy in the last couple of years, and last year I had to leave right after the Hours, so this marks the first time I’ve sung this particular service.
The idea of the Royal Hours of the Nativity is one of my favorite services; it is, so far as I can tell, a Christmas service that is entirely ours and for which no other communion has an equivalent. I’ve always thought of it as a service that, in theory, could be a wonderful outreach if done really beautifully (of course, the same could be said of all of our services). Also the parallel of the hymn from Ninth Hour, “Today is born of the Virgin Him who holdest all creation in the hollow of His hand,” to the Fifteenth Antiphon from the Matins of Holy Friday, “Today is suspended upon the tree He who suspended the earth upon the waters,” is also one of those liturgical moments that reveals how carefully our ecclesiastical year is constructed.
The execution of the Royal Hours tends to stress me out, however. The last couple of years in particular have always had little gotchas (or big gotchas, as sometimes is the case) — two years ago, for example, my priest forwarded me an e-mail from our bishop saying, “This is how we’re going to do the Royal Hours throughout the entire diocese this year; please make a note of it.” I dutifully prepared to do the service exactly that way, I made a verbal attempt to verify Fr. Peter and I were on the same page before the service, and I reached the end of the Royal Hours as outlined by the bishop only to have the priest continuing on with exactly the portion of the service I had not brought with me for the morning. He asked me afterwards what happened; I told him I was following the bishop’s e-mail that he had forwarded me. Without going into messy details, we’ll just say that the decision had been made to not change anything in consideration of it being Fr. Peter’s first year at the parish, and that this not being conveyed to me was, one way or the other, an oversight. Last year, the Vesperal Liturgy was added to the schedule immediately following the Hours; unfortunately, for whatever reason the Liturgy was scheduled for an hour following the Hours, and the Hours take somewhere close to two hours if sung as written. We sped through as much as we possibly could, cutting repeats, and it was still about an hour and forty-five minutes. This incident was unfortunately forgotten, and the same mistake was made on this year’s calendar. The solution this time was to sing the troparion and kontakion at each hour, then read rather than sing the stichera leading up to the prokeimenon. This got us down to an hour and a half. Then there’s the matter of our Kazan Menaion for December being in horrible disarray with a lot of things having been lost or removed over the years. I will replace that, with my own money if need be, shortly (assuming they still exist). Hopefully, one way or the other, all of these issues can be addressed for next year.
Following the services for the morning, there was much goose-preparing, present-wrapping, cleaning and decorating to do before we returned to church for a chrismation, Nativity Matins, and Divine Liturgy at 8:30pm.
Goose, as it turns out, is on the expensive side. Being married to me has evidently done horrible things to Megan’s math, and/or her approach to thinking about food, and when she was asked how many people she was feeding when she ordered the goose, she added one plus one (her and me), and came up with the number seven. The resulting ten pound goose was, as you can see, not cheap. Ah well — if it had turned out terribly, it would have been a tragedy. As it is, we’re just fine with a few days’ worth of leftovers.
I mentioned earlier the matter of brining the goose. This involved cleaning the bird and soaking it overnight in five gallons of water with lots of salt, sugar, peppercorns, bay leaves, cardamom, and so on. The exact recipe may be found here. It was not terribly difficult, but all the ready-making was time-consuming, and I found myself wrapping Megan’s presents just minutes before we had to head back to church.
Matins and Liturgy were a good deal less stressful than the morning’s services, and set the Feast off well, I thought. Christmas is always a strange-feeling time at All Saints; college town that Bloomington is, a lot of people are gone, and even some people who are in town often stay home. To some extent, this underscores for me how Easter really is the main holy day on our calendar, and as much as the Nativity is a major feast, it just still isn’t as big of deal. Nonetheless, the Nativity Liturgy is the best-attended non-Sunday major feast at All Saints, even if it doesn’t pack the house the way Pascha does. We did have the nine-member family of a catechumen — which included a Pentecostal preacher. I was asked, seconds before we were about to start Matins, if there was anything with which he could follow along — having to think quickly, I handed the requestor an extra copy of both the Nassar book of liturgical texts (aka “the Five Pounder”) and the Antiochian service book. I still have no idea if that wound up being useful.
Another part of why it’s strange, though, is that there is nothing in the Byzantine celebration of the Nativity that corresponds to what is done at the popular level in American society. We sing totally different hymns, we don’t do a “living Christmas tree,” and incense, candles and whatnot are normative parts of every service for us, not just for high holy days. All Saints has sung Christmas carols in the church following the dismissal, but in the last 2-3 years that’s fallen out of practice because we’ve started reading the post-Communion prayers at that point, so there’s not really a logistically clean point anymore where that might work. For my own part, I can say that the last thing in the world I want to do after singing Nativity Matins and Divine Liturgy is to start singing Christmas carols, for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which being that I’m vocally exhausted, and also that aesthetically it seems like it would be the most jarring transition possible. Still, I know it’s difficult for some people, that to some extent it doesn’t feel like the same Christmas everybody else is celebrating. I’m not sure what the solution is, if there even really is one.
A nightcap of eggnog with bourbon found me before we hit the sack, and then that was that for the night.
I think we finally rolled out of bed around 10:30am on Christmas morning. We opened presents — some festal icons for us, a couple of reference works Megan wanted, and then for me home coffee roasting supplies — and then what I was really waiting for: eggs benedict from scratch, with biscuits made from the
buttermilk that Megan’s butter-making efforts from a couple of days before had yielded.
Then it was time to start roasting a goose.
Roasting a goose is less tricky than some might have you believe, but the incontrovertible truth is that there is a lot of fat. You have to prick a lot of holes in the skin so that
the fat can drain out while the bird is cooking, and then you have to be immensely careful when pulling it in and out of the oven lest all of the drippings splash over the side of the roasting pan. The plus of this is that goose fat is supposed to make fantastic mashed potatoes.

We followed this recipe and liked it a lot; the one caveat I might mention is that the way the steps are organized, it is not made clear that the stock is a vital ingredient of the gravy until it is too late to go back and rectify the matter if you skipped over it. We were able to improvise so that all was not lost, and the stock made a really tasty soup a couple of days later, but do be aware of this. Also, the recipe assumes a thirteen pound bird; ours was a ten-pounder, and by the time we got to the last 50 minutes of roasting as called for in the recipe, our meat thermometer told us that it was already done. Next time we will attempt to recalibrate the cooking times to match up with the goose’s size.
Anyway, one way or the other, the fowl was not foul in the least. My impression of how goose tastes is that it’s similar to roast beef as well as good dark meat on a turkey. We also had mashed potatoes, collard greens, and spinach, served with a very nice Lebanese red wine. Dessert was homemade pound cake.
I also decided I was in the mood to read the Sherlock Holmes story “The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle” aloud and in character; my reading of this story when I was seven or eight, after all, is the whole reason I ever had any idea there was such a thing as a Christmas goose in the first place, so it seemed appropriate. It was fun; we’ll see if this particular practice lasts.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have, of course, seen us feeding a lot of people with goose leftovers. You can do all the same things with it as turkey; sandwiches, soup, and so on. As well as that’s gone over, maybe it was a good thing that Megan’s math was faulty — I look forward to doing it again.
All Saints served the Divine Liturgy of St. James again yesterday, the Sunday after Nativity being the other day when it is customary (at least in some places) to celebrate it; I hope to be able to post pictures soon. It really is a beautiful Liturgy, I’m finding it very enriching to become more familiar with it, and far more people in the parish got to be part of it than did in October. I’m only sad that it’s going to be almost ten months before the next time we do it.
And a new year is almost upon us. Thank God for that, for so many reasons.
Conquering a blender
Published 19 December 2008 General Leave a CommentTags: adventures with tools, blender clutch replacement, blender coupler replacement, blender repair, chickpea conversion, cooking, garbanzo bean conversion, home cooking, kitchenaid blender
So, a week ago, I was making hummus from scratch. I was using dried garbanzo beans to start with rather than canned — and by the way, two cups of dried garbanzo beans yields six cups of cooked; this means that if you want two cups of cooked, you should start out with 2/3 cup of dried — and I was relying upon the opinions of more qualified individuals than myself as to whether or not the garbanzo beans had been cooked enough.
“Sure, why not?” the more qualified individuals said after they’d been cooking for an hour, so I drained them and dumped them in the KitchenAid 5 speed blender we had been given as a wedding present almost eight years ago.
Perhaps this setup tells you all you need to know about what the above photo represents. Perhaps you even see the little black rubber clutch with its teeth all broken?
Well, anyway, we now know that the garbanzo beans were not, in fact, cooked enough.
Thankfully, we immediately discovered that replacement clutches were not hard to come by; it’s part #W916840 and can be ordered off of the Sears website. I bought two just for good measure, and they arrived on Wednesday.
The instructions which arrived with the part made it sound very simple; screw off the old coupler, screw on the new one.
Perhaps you have also noticed the abundance of tools in the photo above, including a second pair of needlenose pliers intended to brace the axle on which the clutch turns while we were attempting to get it to screw off (and telling it, constantly, to screw off). The wounded finger is Megan’s; she got nicked by a metal shaving from the base of the clutch (pictured above, having separated from the actual rubber portion).
After a couple of hours of trying this and that, we finally got it off with more or less brute force — using the large pair of pliers, I bent the metal base away from the axle and thus also away from the threads. It then just popped off.
We then tried to attach the new coupler, and in so doing made a fascinating discovery which explained immediately why we had been having so much trouble. You see, in the case of this particular part with these particular threads, what we had assumed to be the universal constant of “lefty-loosey, righty-tighty” simply did not apply. In fact, it was exactly the opposite. Not that the instructions which came with the part even gave so much of a hint regarding this, of course.
The good news is that a) the blender works again and b) nobody else ever has to lose the war for want of this particular horseshoe nail. If you can’t get the coupler off, try turning it the other way. It may change your life.
Hummus, anybody?
“Orthodoxy is America’s best kept secret, and it’s our fault”
Published 11 December 2008 Media , The Orthodox Faith 1 CommentTags: jonah paffhausen, metropolitan jonah
I was in error — at least one major news outlet finds Metropolitan Jonah to be newsworthy, even if it is the paper written for and by five-year-olds (as evidenced by some of the comments).



